“Hanging around for an endless repetition of the same cycle is not loving, but merely dysfunctional.” ~ Marianne Williamson, Enchanted Love
I’m the kind of woman who’d rather face morning with tears than flatness.
I spent decades defining my emotions as positive or negative. Guess which ones I determined to align with?
When the “bad” ones vied for my attention, I changed my state.
It worked. I presented powerful to the world—and myself.
How can a woman (or a man) be whole if afraid to feel feelings?
I was afraid because in my youth anger awakened uncontrolled rage. (Never mind that I had reason.) Better not do that anymore. Check.
Sadness ignited suicidal tendencies. (Often, when women turn anger inward, it invites suicide; for men, it’s homicide.) Wow. You’re freaking people out. Stop it. I did.
I got my feelings under control. I “mastered” my emotions.
But, those slaves had a propensity to rise up at inconvenient times.
What if I worked with them? What if I befriended my feelings? What—all of them?!
Yes, now I even invite them. I allow them in my life. I listen to what they’re trying to tell me. I give them space and voice.
I find they don’t like to be pushed down, set aside, denied or renamed.
Feelings offer truth, insight, and opportunity for new understanding.
This is the more challenging path, like learning the material rather than just acing the test.
The way medical students studying diseases wonder if they have them, at first, one may worry honoring feelings defines her.
It’s in our language: She’s sad. He’s an angry person.
Enough with that.
I choose to feel my feelings. Is that so radical?
Sometimes, we feel sad or mad or blissed out.
These are our feelings—gifts certainly as valuable as thoughts—which (mine, at least) have been wrong a few thousand times.
I’m coming full circle, in one sense childlike, in the way children skin their knees, cry, and then rise to play again.
But, I’m more. I’m alive with my full feminine essence.
This is my FU you to a patriarchal society that deems it necessary to deny me of my emotions because they scare you. (She’s a hysterical woman!)
This is my hello to my dancing soul.
I was told, and maybe you were, too:
Let it go.
Don’t cry.
Laugh it off.
Be professional.
Don’t be so sensitive.
And, my favorite: “I’ve got it handled,” as in, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head.” Ha! I do not need to be handled!
If you want to care for me, consider me in all my femininity.
Fierce as a blazing fire.
Wild as the wind.
Soft as sunshine.
We reclaim our feminine nature.
Does that scare you? Maybe it should.
Or, maybe you’re so deep in denial, telling yourself the things you’ve been telling us, you refuse to feel fear even in the face of Mother Nature’s wrath.
Do you think femininity is weak?
The jokes, baby, you keep telling them. The lies, honey, you keep believing.
Not me. Not anymore. I’m out.
Out like the feminine force of nature.
You didn’t listen. You tried to shut us down and deny our feelings.
Patriarchal bullsh*t is being blown up. Where will you stand? Choose.
In the hurricane. In the political sh*t storm. In truth like a tornado.
You might just have to frack off because my sisters and I are speaking truth, crying tears, and dancing joy—real joy, not some plastic crap you tried to sell us.
We are the mothers in Mother Nature.
We’re as soft goddesses and as seductive as the sun.
We’re the giggling girls.
We’re the children and the women saying NO. And being heard.
We’re women welcoming our feelings and our experiences.
You won’t always see us smiling to suit you.
We will never line up to salute a lie.
We’re gathering like bees on flowers. We can produce sweet honey or we can sting.
We feel our feelings—full, feminine, fierce, radiant, juicy, messy, ours.
We invite you to join us.
Welcome to everything but denial.
Alice in Authorland 