Tag: wisdom

I Divorced Drama

Alice LundyLeave a comment

I refuse to be disrespected. I’m not going to shut down so you can speak up. You don’t get to feel good at my expense. You’re responsible for you—your words, attitude and drama. I’m responsible for me—my voice, feelings, and sense of self.

I no longer keep people in my life who put me down, pull me down, or try to make me feel small. I do my best to build people up and surround myself with others who dare do the same.

If you’re grieving, struggling, feeling down, or going through a hard time, I’m there. I’ll listen until 3 a.m. or be your errand gal. I’ll do the shit that’s hard for you. Truly, whatever you need.

However, if your life screams drama because you attract it, are addicted to it, you’re easily offended, create conflict out of insignificance, or you consistently project or defend, sayonara baby. I wish you well. I’ve been you. I’ve spent enough time with characters who come from where you do.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Well, I’m not your teacher or your fixer.

I’m the woman who walks down a new street.

I’m going somewhere different.

I divorced drama. Now, like the alcoholic who shouldn’t be in a bar, I cannot be around defeatists or those who want to argue, prove, one-up or one-down me.

I’ve got to surround myself with the winners of the world, the dreamers, the artists, writers, singers, dancers, life players and love makers. I spent a lifetime contorting and exposing my buttons to be pushed and crying poor me and me, too! But, no more!

I decided to stand up, to live this last half of my life (yep, going for 100!) as the gift that it is, be fully present for the people and experiences before me. I just can’t do that around the crazy makers and naysayers.

There’s a certain kind of person that can pull me in and suck me dry, make me think less of myself and wonder why I try.

Even if you don’t mean to, I’ve discovered who you are and what my reaction is to you. So, I’m out.

I’m out so I can be in. In truth. In authenticity. In courage. In joy. In forward movement. I’m out from the crowd and certain individuals who crush my spirit, even the well-meaning ones. I determine to expand like an eagle in flight, like a person sucking the marrow out of life. Can you dig it?

 

 

 

I refuse to be disrespected. I’m not going to shut down so you can speak up. You don’t get to feel good at my expense. You’re responsible for you—your words, attitude and drama. I’m responsible for me—my voice, feelings, and sense of self.

I no longer keep people in my life who put me down, pull me down, or try to make me feel small. I do my best to build people up and surround myself with others who dare do the same.

If you’re grieving, struggling, feeling down, or going through a hard time, I’m there. I’ll listen until 3 a.m. or be your errand gal. I’ll do the shit that’s hard for you. Truly, whatever you need.

However, if your life screams drama because you attract it, are addicted to it, you’re easily offended, create conflict out of insignificance, or you consistently project or defend, sayonara baby. I wish you well. I’ve been you. I’ve spent enough time with characters who come from where you do.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Well, I’m not your teacher or your fixer.

I’m the woman who walks down a new street.

I’m going somewhere different.

I divorced drama. Now, like the alcoholic who shouldn’t be in a bar, I cannot be around defeatists or those who want to argue, prove, one-up or one-down me.

I’ve got to surround myself with the winners of the world, the dreamers, the artists, writers, singers, dancers, life players and love makers. I spent a lifetime contorting and exposing my buttons to be pushed and crying poor me and me, too! But, no more!

I decided to stand up, to live this last half of my life (yep, going for 100!) as the gift that it is, be fully present for the people and experiences before me. I just can’t do that around the crazy makers and naysayers.

There’s a certain kind of person that can pull me in and suck me dry, make me think less of myself and wonder why I try.

Even if you don’t mean to, I’ve discovered who you are and what my reaction is to you. So, I’m out.

I’m out so I can be in. In truth. In authenticity. In courage. In joy. In forward movement. I’m out from the crowd and certain individuals who crush my spirit, even the well-meaning ones. I determine to expand like an eagle in flight, like a person sucking the marrow out of life. Can you dig it?

 

 

 

Crazy Mind and Strong Heart

Alice LundyLeave a comment

Crazy Mind doesn’t want to write. She’s busy thinking of how and what to write and the fact that she’s not writing and all the shit that’s getting in the way of her writing. Crazy Mind is online and has ulcers over lost time. Crazy Mind is irritated by children and dogs. Crazy Mind makes lists and tries to master her vulnerabilities and hide her humanity from herself. Crazy Mind is always searching for the answer, the tool, the right way to do the right thing at the right time. But, Crazy Mind isn’t writing.

Strong Heart knows it’s hard.

Strong Heart coaxes, encourages and seduces. Strong Heart relaxes into moments—all of them. She walks in the woods and returns to her own nature. Strong Heart is young, free, wild and wise. Strong Heart knows. Strong Heart trusts. Strong Heart believes in magic and God and doors swinging wide open at just the right time. Strong Heart waits—without worry. Strong Heart takes the long view. Strong Heart has friends and a life off the page—unapologetically. Strong Heart starts—over and over. Strong Heart is quiet and sometimes she’s loud. Strong Heart prays and dances and sings. She laughs at herself and life. Strong Heart is silly and deep and lighthearted. And she writes.

I Am a Woman

Alice LundyLeave a comment

 

Phoenix isn’t just a dog to me. She’s my baby. Maybe I wasn’t meant to have children. Or I was too scared or whatever. But, I am a woman. I’m carried by a feminine desire to nurture, care for and love. Phoenix is a sensitive soul in a black lab body. She teaches me how to love. When men push me away, Phoenix follows me like Ruth to Naomi: “Where you go, I go.” She gives me loyalty and devotion. I am her chosen one.

That’s what I want to be for a man. I’m nobody’s back-up anything. So buddy, you better back up. I don’t want to be anybody’s back-up wife, other woman, or just for fun.

Oh, I’m fun. And funny. And articulate. I can be stunningly beautiful — physically and spiritually.

I can touch you in places you didn’t even know existed.

I am a woman. A blessing. A gift.  If you don’t want to be open to that gift, not a problem. Move along, wish you well.

I’m not starving for affection, attention, or connection. Oh, I’ve walked down those roads; don’t get me wrong. I get that there are some things a man can do best.

However, not all. See, I know how to please myself. I’m perfectly capable of loving and nurturing myself. Anyone who thinks a woman can’t be happy without a man isn’t paying attention to all the women who are. Or has a dull grasp of the power of love from dogs, sisters, girlfriends and family, not to mention male friends. If you need back up, phone a friend.

By the way boys, men, if friendship isn’t your bottom line in hanging with me—as in honesty, intimacy and connection, which will require multiple conversations in addition to the romance and rocking sex, just keep walking because even if you send your best representative, there will come a day when I will walk away. So, why don’t you just save us both some time?

Gentlemen, I’m not 20 years old and you trying your plays, your ploys and your downright lies is downright insulting.

You know that women’s intuition exists.

I don’t have to prove it to you. I can see your false fronts as clearly as you can see a 14-year-old’s fibs. You standing there denying what I know to be true is as foolish as me telling my father in high school, after I drove into a pole and made a perfect indentation, “It must’ve been a hit and run.”

Just because I don’t say anything and you don’t think I have the proof I need doesn’t mean you got away with something. More like you let something special get away due to your disregard and disrespect.

Yeah, I get hurt, but I get up. I did not get up to get in the back of the line or to be your back-up girl. I got up to create a full and fulfilling life.

If you’re looking to be anything less than real, I’m real sorry, but you simply don’t qualify.

Maybe you could be my back-up boy or my boy toy, but while we’re playing and you think you’re the player, remember: I am a woman.

Work as Hard on Yourself as You Do Your Job, Marriage, Home or Hobby

Alice LundyLeave a comment

I’m dismayed by women who rise to the top of the corporate ladder, but refuse to honor their own tears. What’s the point in being a woman who can land a man, purchase a home, and gather a gang of girlfriends, if you feel lonely looking in the mirror? As long as you’re alive, you’ll have a relationship with yourself. Why not work as hard on yourself as you do your job, marriage, home, or hobby?

Those could be temporary. Witness the woman who loses her job, husband or health. Years later, she’s revived and fully alive because when she lost her balance she found her center.

Don’t wait for loss to break you and make you decide you’re worth the investment. Choose yourself now.

We force ourselves to feel what we believe we should and do what we think we must. Give yourself a break! Take time for you. Ask, “What am I feeling?” and then honor, rather than deny, dismiss, or justify. What do you need, now? Have your values changed? What unfulfilling relationships or time-consuming activities could you let go of to spend more time with the one ever-present in your world? You matter. Out-of-balance people become a burden.

You want to be a blessing? Sanctify yourself. We work on relationships with men and family. We work on careers, homes and gardens. Yet, we expect ourselves to just arrive? Growing takes work, energy and time. It’s the best investment you can make. Working on yourself means finding your needs and desires, and recognizing your own evolution. It’s knowing, honoring and nurturing the person you are today. What themes come up short around you? If there’s a hole in your soul, nothing outside can fill it.

You can fool yourself and work on everything else, but don’t you know better? Don’t you deserve better?

What do you really need and want? Quiet, meditation, prayer, yoga, music, therapy, art, dancing, poetry, wild sex, bike rides, trips to the beach? Do you need to quit your job or leave your relationship to live congruent with your soul? Or do you need to step it up in some area of life? Don’t just be a better mother, wife, sister, or friend. Be a better YOU. Think about yourself. Just for five minutes.

Ah, come on! You’d give a friend five minutes without hesitation. Or your child or mate or boss. What about you? Be worthy in your own eyes. What lights you up? Work as hard on yourself as you do anything else and your world will expand. But, hey, if that’s too much, just start with five minutes.

 

 

Dance, Crazy Pants!

Alice Lundy3 Comments

Let the love in, lady, baby, little bit crazy pants.

All the men you loved before were

Mountains you climbed to get a better view.

When you could see further, you rose higher.

Don’t judge yourself for being at those depths.

Or determine that the men you meet up here

Resemble those who broke your heart yesterday.

They served as partners on your path.

And no, you weren’t lost.

You could not have arrived earlier.

The journey, with all its twists, was yours to make.

You set out to take each step that led you here.

Here, on higher ground, standing face-to-face

With a man who slayed a few dragons

And dealt with no-doubt duplicitous females

On his travels and tumbles to get to you.

Here’s a man—scared and brave, showering

You in his love, lady, baby, little bit crazy pants.

This enchanted chapter is yours.

Check out the view! This is where you dance.