What Love’s Memory Gifts Me.

“The song ended, but the melody lingers on.” ~ Irving Berlin

July 13, 2021

Wow. On this day 19 years ago, I married Prince Charming in Eagan, MN in a rose garden, before our our reception at the zoo, where we danced in front of dolphin tanks.

Yes, I had that love. The marriage contained me and sustained me until it restrained me and I had to leave.

Nine years ago today, I attended my 30th high school reunion in Los Alamos, NM and sparked a summer love that reminded me of the girl I’d been—playful and creative—and the woman I’d become—whole and soulful.

Yeah, I got that groovy summer love, as an adult! But the summer ended and so did we.

Seven years ago today, a man I called Fire held my hand and walked me into a garden wedding. When the pastor asked the guests to agree to support the couple, my boyfriend’s booming vow “We do” resonated internally like a key turning in a lock. After decades of friendship.

So, I leaned into the curve of life and rode our Crazy, Sexy, Cool Love. Later, I’d know it as Sacred Love—the thing each of us spent a lifetime craving and seeking. In our 50s, we created it, cherished it, and refused to bullsh*t each other.

Walls down. All in. Sexy Valentine’s Days and deep conversations about our dead mothers. Chicago. Louisville. St. Louis. Columbus. Lobster on the grill. Wrightsville Beach. Florida. New Mexico. Weddings. Friends. Families. Birthdays. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Year’s. Chillin’ at his place overlooking the river. Being soothed by the smell of his cigars. Morning coffee at a small round table. His long, lanky, basketball-player legs and arms. Strong hands. A cross between Tom Selleck and Sam Elliott.

This man loved me. All of me.

So, he took a part of me when he died, unexpectedly, in his sleep. I needed to be with him. And he with me, even in the afterlife. It takes time to let go.

Here I am, full circle. New Beginning. New Mexico. The place I return to to find myself. The Land of Enchantment. Home. At a time on the calendar that registers memories of times when love reignited within me.

I remember. The fire of love cools but never dies, even if it appears as ashes.

We’re reminded: love lives inside us and attracts to us what is right for us in divine timing.

I am love’s common denominator in my life. On this day, and all the others.

4 thoughts on “What Love’s Memory Gifts Me.

  1. “This man loved me. All of me.” What a wonderful thing for a woman, for any person, to say about their partner. It captures a perfect love and is heartwarming. (Until I read the next sentence and am reminded of his sudden passing.)

    Liked by 1 person

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