Just an old t-shirt,
All I asked my sister for,
Her husband’s old t-shirt,
Her husband who died.
Was it only three months ago?
Now, I know why a man
Said to my mom just weeks
After my brother died,
You’re not over that yet?
It wasn’t callousness or ignorance.
If you don’t own the grief, you
Push it as far away as possible.
That crap’s contagious!
Man, it can bring you down.
But, when you own it,
When that grief is yours,
You’re busy bracing,
Trying to balance, breathe.
Craning not to be crushed
By grief’s weight—
Makes everything heavy,
Even just an old t-shirt,
From a guy who’s not here anymore,
But is everywhere in this house.
Once he wore that old t-shirt.
He’s the only one who wore that old t-shirt.
It was his old t-shirt. Now,
I’m going to wear it, dye my hair in it.
I’ll stain it and it will never be the same,
Like everything else.
8 thoughts on “Just an Old T-shirt”
This is very good and it is moving.
Glad you were moved!
Beautiful – never the same.
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Somehow I think your my long list twin separated at birth. You write what’s in my heart. Do you know me? Do I know you? I don’t have an answer, but you took the words straight out of my heart. Thanks. Okay.
I’m sure we do know each other, then. In some cosmic way. Sending words of love bcak into your heart.
Sorry, I came home from work, and worked like a mad woman to get my house cleaned, my brain is kind of foggy. Maybe too much bleach, you think? Anyway on the above post I meant to write ” you’re my long lost twin,” lol. It’s late I’m tired. I miss my husband Johnny who was a lot like your Kevin. Nine months yesterday. I’m learning to like who I’ve had to become, to not would be to dishonor Johnny and all the love he gave.
I might invite you for coffee one day. Do you live in Texas? Night long lost twin who writes from my heart.
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I live in Ohio. if you’re ever here, let’s do coffee. Where in Texas are you? Feel free to friend me on FB if you like. It’s such a blessing to have had a Johnny or a Kevin. Many go a lifetime without. But, once we’ve had that glorious gift, going on without them in daunting, isn’t it? May you feel your Johnny’s spirit often.