How to Endure the Darkness. #bloglikecrazy

“All not-good things in the world are transient, containing within themselves the seeds of their own destruction.” ~ Peace Pilgrim

Sometimes darkness comes upon me as strong as my brother’s fist when we were kids.

I remember times in my youth when I believed darkness was my destiny.

Darkness can be like claustrophobia; it’s only threatening until the release.

Finding my claustrophobia funny, an ex-husband used to lock me in our tiny half-bath. I took control back by hiding books under the sink. My panic dissolved when I dove into reading. Then, the door opened.

Now, I prepare for darkness with my candles: prayer, writing, yoga, music, movement, and occasionally conversation.

The greatest power is knowing darkness’ temporariness.

If you’ve been engulfed by the black night, I offer you the idea the light will return.

I can’t tell you when or how. Just consider the idea: This is temporary.

Say it and let it seep into your mind.

Sometimes, it can be a long, lonely night. I will not belittle your darkness.

I’ve tasted its bitterness and touched its sharp edges. But, I won’t pity you.

See, I believe we’re made for these moments because we’re capable and there’s something for us in the dark.

Sometimes, the strongest way to wrestle is to simply sit with gloom and allow it to pass through like a ghost.

While you endure, I send you a candle and my faith that you’ll find the light again.

Hold still. Let your aching heart rest.

Ego and others tell us to fight, as if we aren’t already trying hard enough or just need fresh affirmations.

Whatever works, but so many suggestions seem to come from people born with sparklers in their hands and music playing in their minds.

My birth certificate says I was born in morning, but I’ve danced with darkness since childhood.

Five decades in, she no longer scares me. She can’t slay me.

Darkness is a visitor. I give her the attention she deserves. I offer her tea and ask her what she knows.

I listen, aware of her tendency to tell tall tales and make fake new feel real.

And yet, like that really tough teacher, I’ve learned some of my biggest lessons from darkness.

I don’t pretend her away or allow darkness to highjack my identity.

I respect her when she arrives in my home, regardless of invitation.

Sometimes, like the friend who talks too much and keeps saying he’s leaving, darkness stays for what feels like forever.

I encourage her departure. I even hold the door open, but pushing her is like pushing the lid of a jack-in-the-box.

I now trust darkness’ temporariness. In this, I am strong.

I have faith in light’s return, as a child has faith her parents will come home to release the bad babysitter.

Until then, I trust myself to sit with darkness.

She will not manipulate me into choosing her; I’m attracted to the light.

Soon, darkness will walk out my door, dropping lessons as she goes.

Sweet light will make herself known again. Because she always does.

4 thoughts on “How to Endure the Darkness. #bloglikecrazy

  1. “Hold still. Let your aching heart rest” This line struck me, Alice–because it’s a principle way I manage myself these days–with meditation, and awareness, and NOT running away from the pain. I’ve heard it said that the definition of a codependent (that’s me) is one who always has a pair of running shoes at the ready in her closet. Oh boy, the things I thought I could substitute for the pain that in themselves came back to bite! Yeah..holding still, accepting, learning to love one’s losses,and eventually, even, oneself. Be strong–as you obviously are! :-). Also, there’s a quote from A Course in Miracles I really relate to: “Seek not outside yourself, for you will weep each time an idol falls.”
    Hope to see you at the Writers Group Christmas party! (Don’t have the details yet but Jeff has promised to let us know). xxx Shelagh

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  2. The timing of your message is perfect. Whew! Affirming, as I am rolling out of a phase – at least that’s the goal. Be gone darkness! 💚💙💟

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    1. Yes, you’re rolling out and onto another one. You’re strong–not the denial kind, but the strength of character who faces and moves through the darkness. Thank you for allowing me to hold a candle for you and for the light you’ve brought to my life, Sharon.

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